Stop Ignoring The INFORMED Part Of Consent
An uncomfortable truth about "She just regretted it", "taking advantage" and coercion.
I posted this picture to Facebook today with a nuance we refuse to face.
TW assault
This also applies to informed consent but people don't want to face that lying to someone to coerce sexual favors is assault because it was not INFORMED consent. Basically Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother is a serial rapist. His entire character is built around his elaborate lies to coerce women into sleeping with him.
We very casually talk about how some man “took advantage of” some sweet girl. No, that man assaulted a sweet girl. Seducing and abandoning is completely normalized in our world.
A lotta folks like to use "Well women just regret it the next day so they claim rape"
Okay but WHY did they "regret it"? Is it because they were lied to, manipulated, or coerced? Because then you're confessing to assault
The ONLY times I ever "regretted" it was when I was coerced, manipulated, or lied to. I've never regretted a single instance of INFORMED consent. All names changed
Trent: who reassured me multiple times that his intention was to begin trying to date - only to ghost me. I consented to intercourse that was intended as part of a romantic relationship, not a “one and done”. It is important to note that I told him I was willing to "one and done", I just wanted to know what the deal was and what it meant. HE DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE AND HE DID ANYWAY. Had I know that he only wanted a one and done, I would not have allowed myself to get emotionally involved in our intimacy. I opened up emotionally vulnerable to him because he gave me a reason to believe I should. Again, he did not have to lie, and he did, anyway.
Karl: who kept insisting "you SAID you'd sleep with me" so I did to make him shut up because I was scared not to once he started getting angry. I had said it drunk for one thing. For another, consent can be revoked at any time, but he made it very clear that it could not. I also would have received very dangerous harassment if not physical attacks from people in our social group had I not gone through with it.
Gideon: I wasn't attracted to him at all but there was manipulation he was aware of that I can't specify. I would have faced emotional retaliation if I hadn't. The price I'd pay for saying no was worse than sleeping with someone I didn't want to.
All of them would say I consented
Editing to add:
Making a sex act a condition of a relationship is SA. Sit with that