What is a "Man Puppet"?
For some, a necessary tool in our arsenal
Back when I was single, I had a male friend offer to be my "Man Puppet". We had been talking about my frustration being dismissed by a business because I'm a woman. that it was frustrating having to repeat myself over and over and still not being believed or getting anywhere with them.
He mentioned that he is a Man Puppet for several women friends. That no, how I am treated is not fair AT ALL, but that as he knows women deal with this a LOT and he, being a well groomed, luxury car driving, mid 30s white male Suit, never does.
So IF there's ever a time when I'm facing a problem and can't take the time to cut through the misogyny or am just getting absolutely nowhere, he's willing to be my Man Puppet and deal with them so I can get the problem resolved. (He was not being condescending or anything. It's hard to give tone and context via typing.)
Although I *hate* the reason an offer like that should even exist, I am grateful because I know there have been times when i've been as boxed into a corner as this woman (inspiration for this essay) knowing all it would take is one phone call by a Man Puppet to resolve it. it's the same reason why I send my cis white male fiancé to deal with cavemen like that. For things like car repair, etc where like it or not, my age and gender would be major obstacles and quite honestly getting hit by Misogyny Tax (getting overcharged or cheated financially because they assume I won't know better. Or because I don't actually know better given I'm a human and haven't actually learned everything about every subject 💁🏻♀️)
Yes, it is a short term fix to a much bigger problem. but the problem has existed since the beginning of time. I may still fight for equality, but sometimes I just need a business to return the $200 they overcharged me because I have rent to pay. I'm still a feminist, but I'm not above doing whatever it takes to get my rent paid. or to feel safe somewhere (I've had male friends in the past step in when a guy was getting aggressive with me and it was unsafe for me to defend myself)
This is a small example of a much bigger idea: if you are privileged in a way another isn't, let it be known that you are willing to use your privilege to Puppet for someone if they ask you to. Because sometimes the priority is immediate problem that needs to be solved, and not the bigger fight.
It's okay to solve the immediate problem so you can regroup and fight the bigger one another day.
Today is me fighting the bigger problem